A funny thing was said at work today:

Me: Do you have a lighter?
JH: I don’t smoke……. tobacco.

A funny thing was typed at work today:
Me: The nu girl that started Monday quit Monday. That’s a nu record for us!
P: She was so fresh I didn’t even know that you had a new girl…wot was her story???
Me: She came, she saw…. She left. The End.
P: She certainly didn’t conquer!!!
Me: Apparently, WE conquered HER.